When she was in tenth grade she read Romeo and Juliet with her class, and she was the only one who didn't kiss the teachers ass and sing its praise. She hated it, and said so, because it was unrealistic and just plain crap. Shakespeare wrote better, and she made sure her essay said so. Even as an English major now, her paper clearly states that Romeo and Juliet is overrated, and her professor - who, as Sam reminds her, has devoted his life to learning Shakespeare and teaching it - still gives her an A.
Sam cooks her dinner as a reward, and lights candles in the bedroom after. "Mood lighting?" She asks, grinning at him and he shrugs.
"They smell like vanilla and lilac, so I thought you might like them," he says.
"I love you," she states simply, and it's the truth.
He takes his time with her then, undressing her, touching her, bringing her off with his fingers and mouth, then with his dick. He guides her with his hands on her hips, pushing and pulling her, up and down in a smooth, slow rhythm. It feels good, too good, having him like this, and she's on the pill so she doesn't worry that they've run out of condoms again; she loves the way he feels like this, naked inside her, the way his heart stutters under her palm planted on his chest.
"I love you," he says. "God, Jess," he breathes, speeding up his thrusts. "I love you so much."
She leans forward and kisses him, slow and gentle, but real, and presses her forehead to his, both damp with sweat. "I love you, Sam. All of you." He groans, moves one hand behind her neck and crushes their mouths together. She comes apart, just like that, shaking and quivering, and she can feel him a moment later, warm and pulsing liquid inside her.
She's content to lay there with him, tangled like this, sweaty and stinking of it, and sex - of each other - while he twines his fingers with hers and traces patterns against her palm with his fingers.
"Tell me something," he says quietly while the candles are burning low. "Tell me a secret."
She doesn't have many of those, but she has a few because everyone does. She thinks maybe, if she tells him one, he'll tell her one - one of those kinds of moments. There are things in her life she's never told anyone, never wanted to tell anyone, but somehow with Sam, she doesn't mind so much.
"My dad was a drunk," she says. "And my mom wanted to leave for a long time," she says quietly. "She never did, but... she wanted to. She told me once, that my dad was the biggest mistake she made."
"I think she was right."
"She got you out of it, though," he says, and it makes her eyes burn. Even her mother didn't think that was a good enough end of the deal not to hate her life and everything, everyone in it.
"I lived with my grandparents," she says quietly. "And they were the best people in the world. They loved me more than anyone ever had, ever, Sam."
"You know that I love you, don't you?" He sounds so serious she has to look up at his face. "Jess, you know that I... I'd never just say it to...to just say it. I love you."
"I know," she says and smiles. "Your turn. Tell me a secret, Sam."
"I want to marry you." She stops breathing for a second when he says it, and then kisses him so, so softly. She thinks - no. No, she knows that would be the best thing in the world, to spend the rest of her life as Sam Winchester's wife.
"That's not a secret, Sam," she says grinning. "The gypsy blew you in on that one."
He laughs. "Okay, okay. What do you want to know?"
It slips out before she can stop it. "Who did you love before me?"
He looks so incredibly sad that she wants to take it back. The look in his eyes tells her that he's broken, so much more broken than she imagined, and it makes her ache inside. "I have a big brother," he says softly. "And he... he was my world once."
She brushes the hair off of his forehead with her fingertips and kisses him, pulls him over on top of her and whispers "I'm sorry", lets him slip between her legs again and touch her. She pulls him in, determined to love him the way he deserves, and when he pushes into her again, still warm and slick from before, she makes sure he knows how much she loves him.